Mishlei 10:1

 בֵּן חָכָם יְשַׂמַּח אָב וּבֵן כְּסִיל תּוּגַת אִמּוֹ

A wise son makes his father happy, and a foolish son is his mother's grief

Questions:

1. Why is it the father who has joy in the wise son, and the mother who has grief over the foolish son?
2. There are many kinds of fool discussed in Mishlei; why is the כְּסִיל here contrasted with the חָכָם?

Definitions:

1. A wise man, חָכָם, is one who has wisdom, that is, he (or she) can clearly see the consequences of his actions (רואה את הנולד), and can therefore make good decisions (and give good advice).

1. The fool in this verse, כְּסִיל, according to the Malbim, is someone who may have wisdom, like the חָכָם, but pursues whatever he feels like, regardless of the demands of his wisdom. This "kesil-fool" will thus end up doing foolish things, but not for lack of intellectual capability or knowledge. For example, such a fool might predict the likely end of gambling uncontrollably, but still end up gambling away his life's savings.

Explanation:

1. The parent (father or mother) is the educator of the child; we thus conclude that the father is the one who educates the child in חכמה, wisdom on how the world works and how to make good decisions, and the mother is the one who educates the child in emotional understanding and regulation, i.e., what the kesil-fool lacks.
2. Furthermore, per Rashi, the fool is the grief of his mother, since the stereotypical mother is in the home, and she sees the son in his foolishness, which is in the home. The wise son therefore is presumably out and about, applying his wisdom in the world. Rashi implies that the stereotypical father is also out in the world, presumably applying his wisdom.
3. The contrast between the wise son, חָכָם, and the kesil-fool son, כְּסִיל, emphasizes the fact that merely knowing wisdom is useless, unless it is actualized. One who, like the kesil-fool, has wisdom but, due to lack of self-control, does not use it, is the grief of she who raised him. The wisdom of the wise son is the joy of the father, who sees that it is actually applied (outside the home).
4. The verse also teaches that the crucible wherein this essential quality of self-control is learned is the home. Emotional understanding and self-control can only be learned in the context of close relationships, not in the schoolhouse. These lessons must be modeled, and practiced, in real situations - theoretical education may work to teach wisdom, but cannot by itself prevent the student from becoming a "wise" fool.

Balak 5773

In the first verse of this past week's haftara, the prophet Micha says in the name of Gd, "And the remnant of Yaakov shall be in the midst of many nations, as dew [טל] from Gd, like strong rain [רביבים] upon the grass, that shall not place hope in a man nor have expectation from the sons of men."

Through this somewhat opaque metaphor, I believe, Micha is giving us a view of what the Jewish people will be or should be like during the time of the Exile, scattered around the earth, living among the various nations of the world.

The parallelism of "dew" and "strong rain" is reminiscent of Moshe's words in Parshat HaAzinu, where he proclaims that his words should "drip as dew" and fall as "strong rain upon the grass". There, Rashi explains that "dew" is a type of precipitation that everyone is happy with [הכל שמחים בו], since it disturbs no one and only brings benefits, and that "strong rain" [רביבים] means rain that goes straight towards its target, like an arrow from a bow [רובה קשת].

In this way, the prophet gives us guideposts for how we should behave among the "many nations." First and foremost, we should behave as "dew from Gd" - in a way in which "everyone is happy with."  The way we live should make people of all nations happy that Jews are living among them. At the same time, we must keep our eyes on the target like רביבים, knowing that we are on a mission from Gd, and should not be tempted from that mission by the promises of men.

We must remain distinctively committed to fulfilling Gd's mission in this world, to be a light to the nations, a mission that we can only achieve by living and acting in a way in which הכל שמחים בו, that is considerate and kind to all.