Thoughts on Maariv

I just davened Maariv, and was deeply moved by the first blessing, and want to try to express what I thought and felt, in the darkness of this pandemic. These are inchoate feelings, not thought out ideas, but I hope I can communicate something.

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה'. אֱלקינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעולָם.
Blessed are you, Gd, Ruler of the Universe,
אֲשֶׁר בִּדְבָרו מַעֲרִיב עֲרָבִים.
Who, by His word, brings on evenings;

The Hebrew word for evening, ערב, is the same as that for a mixture. Evening is a mixture of day and night. So often in the world we experience mixtures of good and evil, happiness and sorrow - we must navigate an ever-changing and opaque confusion. And yet, all these varied mixtures of light and dark are "by His word". We may be confused, but He is not. And we are not alone.

בְּחָכְמָה פּותֵחַ שְׁעָרִים
In wisdom, opens gates; 

Even when we are in the fog of unknowing ערב, Gd is opening gates for us, in His wisdom - He is with us, clearing paths for us, and rooting for us.

וּבִתְבוּנָה מְשַׁנֶּה עִתִּים וּמַחֲלִיף אֶת הַזְּמַנִּים

And in understanding, changes times and exchanges seasons;

As קהלת, Ecclesiastes, teaches, for everyone there is a season, and for everything a time:  "A time for being born and a time for dying, A time for planting and a time for uprooting the planted; A time for slaying and a time for healing, A time for tearing down and a time for building up; A time for weeping and a time for laughing, A time for mourning and a time for dancing." Human wisdom lies in recognizing each time for what it is, understanding that nothing is constant and nothing lasts, and that all we can do in the end is strive to respond to each of the times of our lives in a way that reflects the Divine presence. The constantly changing times and seasons of life come to us from Gd, who is with us through them all. And if this does not lessen the pain of the dark times, yet it is a comfort that we are thus accompanied.

וּמְסַדֵּר אֶת הַכּוכָבִים בְּמִשְׁמְרותֵיהֶם בָּרָקִיעַ כִּרְצונו.
And orders the stars in their courses, according to His will. 

There is an order in the heavens, where Gd's will is the clear reality. But that is only in the heavens - here on Earth, we live in the murky world of changing times, hidden gates, and twilight groping for direction. That is our reality to accept, and through acceptance, we may hope for wise action.

בּורֵא יום וָלָיְלָה
He creates day and night;

Both light and dark, happiness and sorrow, are made by Gd. Why must we have both? Many answers have been given, all of them unsatisfactory. We have no way of knowing. But I find comfort that both are the fabric of creation.

 גּולֵל אור מִפְּנֵי חשֶׁךְ וְחשֶׁךְ מִפְּנֵי אור.
He rolls away the light to reveal darkness, and the darkness to reveal light;

Just as we may enter a period where we see happiness rolled away as we are enveloped by darkness, we must know that none of this is constant--the darkness will in its turn, sometime, we don't know when, be rolled away to reveal light. This too shall pass.

I don't know if all of this is banal, or if anyone other than me will find these thoughts meaningful, but they give me some comfort at this dark time. May Gd soon roll away the darkness and reveal the light; may He send swift recoveries to those who are ill, and bring a speedy end to this plague. And may all of us be comforted.